Episode 47: Pumpkin Spice, Flannel, and Halloween: Embracing the Joys of Fall on Your Terms
Autumn is here! And we don’t mean the co-host of the podcast either. Are you slipping into your flannel shirts, beanies, and boots yet? Enjoyed any pumpkin spice lattes or apple fritters? Have you been busy decorating, watching horror movies, and picking out a costume for spooky season? We don’t know about you, but this year has been putting us through the wringer, and with so much stress and uncertainty it’s been hard to find the little joys in life. So, in this episode we’re taking a big, deep breath of that crisp fall air, grabbing some warm apple cider, and sitting down to chat about the relief and child-like joy that this season can bring. Sure, there may be a lot of disparaging memes and mocking comments about the “basic white girl fall starter pack” but you know what we say? Screw ‘em. It feels like these days the moments of joy are few and far between and we’re not going to be ashamed of some moments of happiness and contentment. . If you enjoy the podcast don’t forget to subscribe and please leave us a rating and review. And if you’d like to support us on Patreon you can find us at www.patreon.com/differentfunctional Thanks for listening!
AUTUMN
0:00
Welcome to the Different Functional Podcast where we explore the triumphs and challenges of trauma recovery and being neurodivergent in a neurotypical world. In today's episode, we're going to be talking all about empowering ourselves by embracing the joys of fall, even in the face of societal mocking.
I am Autumn, the older sister, and one of the most clichéd things I love about this time of year is carving jack-o-lanterns. And I get that this is a kid thing and it's probably also extremely wasteful of a pumpkin. But I just I really enjoy making jack-o-lanterns, especially like the scooping it out and finding a design and then coming home and getting to see them all lit up and pretty. It just makes me happy for no reason.
IVY
0:50
I don't find that particularly childish at all. I think there's probably actually a lot of adults that if they're honest with themselves, they enjoy that too. And I say that because every year when I go to the pumpkin patch, I see plenty of adults out there who are not with children. So that tells me there probably are a lot of adult humans that enjoy the process of carving a pumpkin or at least picking one out. I don't know what they do with them when they get home. Maybe they're not carving them. Maybe they're doing something else with them. I don't know. Maybe they're making soup with them or something. That's a thing people also do with pumpkins.
I’m Ivy, the younger sister. I also enjoy carving jack-o-lanterns. I have already been trying to plot out when I'm going to go to the pumpkin patch and if I'm going to go more than once. Fall and Halloween is definitely my favorite time of year of everything about fall.
So I'm going to make a little confession here and admit that I am, in this way at least – and this is embarrassing on some level for me to admit, but on this one level I am as basic bitch white girl as you can get because I do get very excited about all of the pumpkin and pumpkin spice flavored things that come out during this time of year. I've already been partaking of that. I've already got pumpkin spice creamer and pumpkin spice coffee syrup. And I just went to Trader Joe's a few days ago and loaded up on pumpkin cheesecake and bread and instant oatmeal and almost every pumpkin flavored thing that they had.
AUTUMN
2:28
So I'll make a confession here and admit that I don't think I've ever had anything pumpkin spice that wasn't pumpkin pie. And that's not like a moral stand, like a pumpkin spice is ridiculous. But they tend to put pumpkin spice in things that I don't drink, like coffee or that I can't eat, like things that contain a lot of sugar. So, I mean, it sounds delicious because I do enjoy pumpkin pie. You know, the sugar free, gluten free kind. But I can't. I kind of wonder about this whole pumpkin spice world because I feel like I've never been able to participate in it with my eating restrictions.
IVY
3:04
I really shouldn't be participating in it with my eating restrictions. I do have to kind of weigh out the pros and cons and see if the consequences are worth it. And even though every year as pumpkin spice season is rolling it and I tell myself it's not worth the consequences. I seem unable to control myself when it comes to pumpkin spice. So my suggestion to you, especially knowing how much you like pumpkin pie, is that you probably should not even venture there because it's very hard to say no to it, especially when it is everywhere.
This time of year, you can't go anywhere without seeing pumpkin spice and pumpkin flavored things, which I know that's part of why people mock it so much and it is embarrassing for me. I was very embarrassed going through the checkout line at Trader Joe's. I'm not even going to lie. I chose the checkout line at the very end of the store that had less people at it and where the clerk also looked like she would probably somebody who was pumpkin spice obsessed. So it's - I don't know - It is a somewhat shameful thing. But I'll admit it now, the whole world knows that I'm a pumpkin spice addict.
AUTUMN
4:18
And that's kind of the whole point of today's episode, is that idea of it being a shameful thing. Why is this shameful? It doesn't make sense. You know, we did an episode earlier called Goblin Girl Summer, and it was all about all the societal expectations that Summertime has for us, especially as women, but I think for humans in general. And it's all these things that we're supposed to do or love or participate in. And if we don't, we get mocked. Well, I feel like once fall comes along, the script kind of flips and instead there's all these wonderful things that we really, really, really want to do and we do like. But when we participate in them, then we end up getting mocked. We get mocked for wanting to carve jack-o-lanterns or for enjoying pumpkin spice or for wanting to dress up every day in October because it's so close to Halloween and you're in love with it.
But I mean, why are these things shameful? It doesn't really – I mean in my objective, logical sense, like - it doesn't make sense. These predilections shouldn’t be mocked, yet they are. And again, why are we letting society dictate what we enjoy, you know?
IVY
5:32
My theory is actually that adult society, everything about it is just geared towards sucking all the fucking joy out of life. I think that's a big part of it. Just as an adult, you're not allowed to have fun anymore. There's a very small subset of things that you're allowed to like as an adult. And most of those things I don't take a whole lot of interest in. And it kind of sucks that we're not allowed to do anything childish.
But it's bullshit and I really will never be able to wrap my head around why as adults we're just not supposed to have fun or enjoy life or just feel childlike joy. Like, what the fuck is that about? Adulthood can be so difficult and frustrating. And then on top of that, you've got all these people being like, No, no, you don't get to do that because that would be fun. I can't stand to see you happy. That's what it feels like being in this world.
AUTUMN
6:28
I mean, a lot of growing up and that neurotypical expectation is that you will become uniform and you'll shave off those rough edges and those impulsive behaviors. And I think that's a big reason of why they want you to become less childlike, because you become more uniform and easier to deal with and easier to control within society. And so that's part of why I usually act childlike in a lot of ways. Partially because, well, I can't control myself, but also partially because screw that, you know? I want to have fun. I'm not going to just be stoic and easy to control. I'm going to be excitable and have a little bit of joy in life.
And one of the other things, because I was actually reading into this, the pumpkin spice thing especially is so huge right now. And so I was looking into it and I'm like, Why do people even give a fuck if someone likes Pumpkin spice? Like, of course I come from that whole school of thought where it's like, it's not my life, so why the hell would I have an opinion? Like the idea that I should berate anybody for liking or disliking anything? It's just that blows my mind. But I went ahead and looked it up. I Googled it.
And actually one of the things that came up was really interesting to me is they said that this pumpkin spice hatred was in a way very misogynistic. And I was kind of looking at it and like, Yeah, that makes sense. Because really what we're degrading here is women, women that like pumpkin spice. When a guy admits to liking pumpkin pie, nobody puts him down. Nobody’s like, Oh, you're just such a basic white boy. Like nobody says that to him. If he's like, Oh, I love me some pumpkin pie. Nobody says that. But if a woman is like, Oh, I just love pumpkin spice latte, everybody wants to giggle. Everybody wants to stereotype her for that. And so I could kind of see how it's a little misogynistic in some ways. Some of these societal taboos, I guess, almost is what it's like.
IVY
8:22
Yeah. I mean, I don't I don't want to be like the boy who cried wolf or anything along those lines, but I could definitely see that for whatever reason. And it's not just white women, but for whatever reason, there do seem to be a lot of women of all colors who enjoy fall, and for some reason it is something that becomes mocked. And I do kind of wonder if it's becoming increasingly more a subject of ridicule because we're seeing more and more of the rise of the manosphere. And I'm sorry if that sounds like kind of a feminist conspiracy theory, but I can't help but kind of wonder.
Because with the rise of the manosphere and Incels and the Andrew Tates of the world, anything that is feminine is looked down upon. Anything that women enjoy is looked down upon. Anything that women get excited about is looked down upon. Unless we're getting excited about a man, I guess that's the only thing we're allowed to be excited about. Which is very unfortunate and very frustrating and infuriating because fall is fun and spooky season is fun. And if the boys don't want to have fun, I guess they don't have to. But that doesn't mean that they should give us shit.
AUTUMN
9:38
Whatever the reason is, whether it is misogyny, whether it is that whole idea of putting away childlike things or even, you know, getting a little bit into the idea of neurodivergence because we see a lot of neurodivergent people that just absolutely love Halloween. So whatever that reality is, that society is trying to perpetuate, that normality that wants to squash out this excitement and this love. And I say, no, let's claim it.
So what if you classify me as a basic person, You don't know me. I can do whatever I want and I'm going to enjoy this pumpkin spice latte. So let's go ahead and jump in and look at a whole list of these things that are mockable that we just shouldn't love about fall because it makes us childish or too feminine or too neurodivergent. And let's go ahead and claim these things. If you like them, claim them.
IVY
10:31
Also, just want to note here, like this is this is kind of meant to be a fluffy episode. This is a celebratory episode. We're not doing any deep dives into the hardships of neurodivergent or being a woman or having a trauma background. This is an episode that is for all of the fall lovers out there and the spooky season lovers out there who every year feel like they have to be a little bit closeted for enjoying the season. Like I said earlier, if you don't want to have fun, that's up to you. But you're not going to suck all the joy out of life for the rest of us.
AUTUMN
11:07
So if you are a fall lover, let's start our celebration of fall and let's start owning some of these things and being like, Hell yeah, I like it. And let's start with that one that is very, very cliched: Pumpkin spice. You know, we already talked to some of the ideas behind this and the misogyny and all of that. But the reality is, is pumpkin spice is fucking delicious. I'm sorry. It really is. I mean, contact us if I'm wrong, but I have never in my life met somebody that does not like that idea of pumpkin pie or pumpkin spice or like an apple bread, all of that yummy fall goodness with the cinnamon, the I don't even know it's in there because I just I'm a cheapo person. I just buy McCormick's like pumpkin spice spice. So I don't even know what's in there. But it's so good. I don't care whatever your reasons are for I shouldn't have this. Even when it comes down to, like Ivy said, with the health issues, like, personally, I shouldn't have this. I could see how it would be addictive and how it would be yummy and how you would want to put it in everything. I think I would if I could.
IVY
12:18
I actually have met a couple of people that at least claim that they don't like pumpkin pie or pumpkin spice. I don't know if they're telling the truth or if they're just giving it to the pressure to not enjoy it. They're probably telling you the truth. I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt. There's got to be people out there who don't enjoy it. But that being said, all of the people that I have met who don't like pumpkin or pumpkin spice, they usually feel like it's overrated. And they're more of a fan of, say, Apple.
Even if you don't like either of those things. There's just so many good foods during fall. There’s chilis and soups and hearty homemade breads. And during Halloween, if you get into the spirit and you aren’t just a fuddy duddy adult who likes to have zero fun at all, all the Halloween treats that there are for kids. They're super cute. Like all of the ideas that you find online for Halloween cupcakes and they're always decorated way cooler than during the rest of the year. I'm sorry. They just are. They're kind of graveyard themed. And you have your purple or orange icing and then you have your Oreos crumbled on top with a gummy worms sticking out of it. I don't know. I just find that stuff fun. I don't know why food can't be fun.
AUTUMN
13:34
You know, you talked about the pumpkins and apples and stuff. And one of the reasons I think that is so associated with Fall, at least in America, is because those were staple crops that you did eat more in the fall. The apples, because I am in a more rural area, like there's all these posts about like, come pick these apples or free apples because this is the time of year when those crops are coming to fruit. And so now we can enjoy these things that we've waited all summer for. And the same way with the pumpkins.
And I enjoy that aspect specifically because it is more in tune with nature. I feel like so much of society is out of tune with nature. And so I find this this lovely congruence that just makes me so pleased because nature is like, Hey, pumpkins and apples. And then this time of season is like, Hey, pumpkins and apples. And I'm like, Yes, it makes sense. It matches up. It's not contradictory.
IVY
14:28
On that note, I think another reason why food does feature so prominently in fall along with the fall traditions, It’s not only like at harvest time idea and being more in tune with nature, but in our modern society, i's also one of the only times when a lot of events involve going to agricultural areas and going to a pumpkin patch, going to an apple orchard and picking your own apples. And those places usually have petting zoos and they have like the pumpkin chucking and like they have all of these different activities, corn mazes. And so a lot of the activities that are meant to be fun during fall also center around getting outdoors and picking your own food and deciding what you're going to do with that food.
And I think that's a really fun part of the experience, too, because there's not, to me, there's not another time of year where that really is the case. I mean, yes, you have a little bit of that in the summer. If you enjoy picking berries, there's lots of you pick berry farms. But I feel like during fall it's on a whole different level and the activities are completely centered around being outside and kind of harvesting your own food and doing fun, festive things outdoors. And that also connects you into that idea of nature and in some ways community as well.
And part of that is because there's so many fun outdoor activities that you can do with other people that are also super low key and that there's no pressure with because a lot of the summer activities are like going to parties and just drinking. And then during the holidays, I know some people love the holidays, but when you come from a family, the holidays are more stressful than anything else. They're very awkward. There's usually a trauma associated with them and there's pressure and there's like financial stress from buying presents and stuff like that. And during fall and Halloween, there's just not that. It's just way more low-key. But there's all of these cool activities to go out and do that puts you in more of a communion with nature and the natural cycles and also more in a sense, more in a space to be community minded as well.
AUTUMN
17:09
I agree with that. And I would say also with that idea, you know, you talked about all these fun activities and how summer's like whatever, and then winter's like, whatever. But like, even if you enjoy both ends of that, like if you enjoy the summer parties and the beach vacations and all of that stuff and that's your vibe. A lot of people, even those that love it by the end of summer, are starting to get exhausted because they were participating in so much more. And so you're just kind of like tired of like, having to be so cute and adorable and sociable. And then on the other end, like Ivy said, holidays come with their own thing, and they can be to some degree, even if you really enjoy them, hey are stressful and can be almost a burden. And I feel like fall just doesn't have those. Those obligations and those excess.
And so I think that's one of the reasons that I love how this, you know, the idea of food that we were talking about lines us up with the seasons, because I love that feeling that comes with that season of feeling like this is a little bit of a break. Because I feel like if you are in typical society, by the time you're done with summer, you do need that just little breath of fresh air and positivity and relaxation because winter is about to hit and it has its own whole sets of, you know, stresses and issues and weather and holidays that comes with it.
And I would say that's true also for people like me that live very rural or off grid. We're coming to the end of summer and I'm exhausted because of everything I've had to do, you know, getting the wood ready and taking care of the land and blah, blah, blah, all the stuff that comes with the summer. And I know the winter is going to be here pretty soon and I'm going to have to be doing fires and getting up earlier and trekking through snow. And I feel like this season right now is just that little bit of a break, a little bit of a breather between where I can just go out and sit on the porch for a few minutes without having something to do. And so I really like that about fall.
IVY
18:40
I actually really love that about fall, too. And here in the Pacific Northwest, summer is the only time of year that we really see the sun much. And because of that, I feel like there's even more pressure during summer to go out and do things than there was in other places that I lived, because when I was in Oklahoma, we had the sun most of the year and we would even have some warm days in the middle of winter. Sometimes we'd have a random day that was 80 degrees outside. But here in the Pacific Northwest, you have the sun for about three months and then it starts raining again. But that three months, you're supposed to cram a shit ton of activity into that. And even when you're not trying to keep up with all of those things like this year did not have the capacity to do nearly as much as I normally do during the summer. I'm still exhausted.
And I'm telling you nothing felt better than the first day that it we had kind of a hard rain here. It just, I don't know, flipped a switch in my head where I could breathe again because it was just, Oh, okay. I could take a break now. I don't have to be outside making the most of this sunny day because it's one of the only few that we have all year. I can now start settling into the idea that it's going to be raining most days or at least overcast and cloudy, and that gives me an opportunity to relax that I do not have during the summer.
And it's a good time for me to kind of recharge before the holiday season when my work picks up and when there's all of the. Like the family stuff that you have to do and more social engagements and the holidays are just a lot - whether you like them or dislike them, they’re just a lot. So, I agree with Autumn. Fall is actually just a time that you can take a breather and recharge.
And again, it's the perfect time to do childlike fun things. Because there's so much responsibility, it feels like, the rest of the year. Not that we don't have responsibilities during fall, but it does feel like when fall hits, everybody kind of takes a deep breath and starts to hunker down just a little bit and take a few more days to themselves to just stay inside and watch movies or just go out into the woods and look for mushrooms if you're like Kelvin and I. Or at least go to the pumpkin patch, grab a pumpkin or go pick some apples off a tree in an orchard.
Ordo like Kelvin and I do and pick apples off of some trees that grow in this business parking lot that we - probably they're probably for the employees, but we never see anybody take them. The only beings that we ever see eat those apples or geese. So we go and interact with the geese and pick apples and try not to get attacked by the geese. But it's a tradition. Now I'm going to be sad when I move away and there's no apple trees surrounded by geese that we have to wade through and try not to be attacked by in our pursuit of apples.
AUTUMN
21:34
I think those things you're talking about, though, that is one of the other things that gets mocked. Not necessarily the specific business apple picking geese situation. I feel like that's very unique to where you're at. But you know, the corn mazes and the pumpkin patches and stuff, I think that's part of why we're doing those things right now, because they are fun and enjoyable, but they're easy. They're not a big vacation. They're usually not like a very large group or a huge party. And so it allows us to have that that enjoyment and that socialization and that relaxation without as much stress.
And so we get these little itty bitty things that we do, but they are kind of mocked. I mean, sure, you can you can go through a pumpkin patch or through a corn maze if you have kids. But if you don't sometimes, depending on the area, you kind of get looked at like, why are you just an adult picking a pumpkin? What's wrong with you? I would say that's something else that gets mocked probably because maybe of those childlike things. Do you think that's the reason this one gets put down so much?
IVY
22:41
I mean, that's probably part of it. Also, there are certain activities that are considered almost so childlike that there's no way an adult would enjoy these things. And so it's not just that you get like a weird look, you get eyeballed suspiciously because you're doing an activity that's for families. And it's - nobody says it's only for families. Nobody says it's only for kids. But there's kind of this societal expectation that it is only for kids. And so if you show up as an adult with no children and you're not there with another group, you do get kind of eyeballed suspiciously like. Are you a pedophile? Is that why you're here at the pumpkin patch? Because you want to be around small children and that's ridiculous.
But I do think some of that factors into it as well. Again, just adult society is just geared so much towards sucking all the fucking life and joy out of everything. You're not allowed to do things that children enjoy anymore. You're not allowed to do that unless you also have kids, but you're only there enjoying it for the sake of your kids. And that's some bullshit right there.
AUTUMN
23:48
And also counterintuitive because I look at some of the parents at the pumpkin patches and the corn mazes, and I don't think they're having a lot of fun because they're spending so much time watching their kids. They're not actually getting to enjoy it. So, I mean, I do think it's unfair that we don't get to enjoy these things as adults or we're not supposed to. But again, start owning it because corn mazes are fun.
One of the things I love about corn mazes especially is it makes me feel little again. You know, you ever get like a little tiny teacup or something and you pretend you're a giant, or if you've ever seen some of those huge chairs they have that you can sit in and you look like a little kid again. That's what corn mazes feel like. It's almost like you get permission to be this carefree child again when you go to a corn maze because everything's so much taller or bigger than you are. And I think that's the fun thing about the pumpkin patch, too, is it's you get to be a kid again. You get to be excited about a giant fruit or vegetable. I'm not sure what a pumpkin is, but just like, Oh my God, it's growing on the ground. How crazy. And it's like, yay, You get to be excited about that.
And I feel like that's a really important thing, I mean, for anybody in society, to still have a little bit of passion for life, but especially for those of us that have difficult childhoods, because for a lot of us, we didn't get that chance as a kid. We didn't get to go to a corn maze or pumpkin patch or to be excited about Halloween or much of anything. And for a lot of us, it's kind of taking care of our inner child in a way of allowing ourselves that little bit of childhood we never got. Allowing ourselves that little bit of joy that many of us never had to experience. And to me, that would be really sad if just because I was an adult, that means, Oh, I just never get to experience that joy. You only had a 1 to 18 year range on that. After that, you don't get to enjoy picking a pumpkin. Like, that's super sad.
IVY
25:49
Yeah, I mean, I mean, I speak from experience on that because I don't know about Autumn, but I have very few recollections of really getting to do much of anything for Halloween. I think I went trick or treating maybe four times during our entire childhood and we never went to a pumpkin patch. I never did that until I was an adult. I didn't even know those places existed where you can go get your own pumpkin. I thought you could just only buy them at the store. And even that we didn't do very often. We never went to haunted houses. We didn't really have a whole lot of opportunities to dress up for Halloween. We did go to Halloween parties. We'd never been to a corn maze unless Autumn remembers something that I don't, which is which is possible. You block a lot of things out of your memory when you grew up in a pretty dysfunctional household. But I don't recall getting the opportunity to enjoy those things as a kid.
And that probably is part of the reason why I enjoy doing these things so much now is it's opportunities that I missed out on, things that I always got to see my peers doing and I was envious of. And now I get to do some of those things myself, you know? I do get to feel small in a corn maze or get lost in a corn maze with no consequences. I mean, that's part of the fun for me too, is like you're just wandering around in there. And yes, you could go about it the strategic way, the way Kelvin does, and use a map and find your way out without taking any wrong turns, which he's brilliant at. Or you could just wander in there and intentionally get yourself lost and just follow other people around until you find your way out the way that I generally do when left to my own devices.
And I, I like not just the experience of going to the pumpkin patch, but also going home and cutting the pumpkin open and getting your hands on messy. Digging them in to all the goop in there and pulling out all the stringy bits in the seeds and then carving some silly design and not caring about whether it looks great. Who? Because who cares? You carve whatever you want to in there. If it looks like shit, it doesn't. It doesn't matter. You're literally just carving a face or a design into a pumpkin and the pumpkin is going to be no more within a few weeks.
It's a very low stakes season. You get to have all of this fun. You get to get your hands dirty. You get to just be a kid again. And there's not really consequences for it other than the ridicule from the outside. So if you can block out those voices of people thinking it's silly to do the things that you're doing as an adult, there's just so much opportunities to be living your best life during fall, I feel like.
AUTUMN
28:30
And you know, a lot of the things that you were talking to, like the idea of sticking your hand down into the pumpkin or allowing yourself to just be lost and wander around in the corn maze. Part of what those things are is mindfulness. You're actually being present in the moment. And so it's not just reliving your childhood and taking back that joy. It's also going to improve your health in other ways and reduce your stress level in other ways because you are participating in mindfulness. You're enjoying the moment so much that you are more fully in it and experiencing it.
And I think another one of those things which maybe not mocked as much, but again, I still feel this is that kid realm and us adults aren't allowed to be all googly eyed about it, and that would be the fall leaves. There's a lot of us that love going out and just looking at the colors or collecting them, but I feel like this is two veins on this. Like if you actually want to do crafts with fall leaves, well then why aren't you in kindergarten? And then if you want to go view the colors of the trees, then you must be some ancient geriatric patient from the nursing home. You know, it's like you can only do this when you're really old or really young. You don't get to enjoy fall leaves any other time. But again, just like the digging in the pumpkin or the loss in the corn maze, I feel like a big part of enjoying the fall leaves and the crafts and going out and seeing that change of color is a bit of mindfulness.
IVY
29:59
I'm going to add one more thing to that. There is one other time that it is acceptable as an adult in our society to enjoy fall leaves, and that is for photography purposes. Senior photos for high school seniors or family photos, then it is acceptable. But yes, I would agree. Other than that, I mean, there really are those only those three avenues for it being acceptable for you to love leaves. You either have to be a small child who wants to jump into a giant pile of them. You have to be a family or a high school senior wanting photos or maybe an engaged couple. That is also acceptable. It's all photography though. Yeah, because it's just makes for nice pretty pictures. Or you have to be an old person who's just there to like the colors of the leaves because they're changing.
Yeah, and I find that sad as well because that is one of the things that I look forward to most during fall as well, especially where I live now. I feel like growing up in the part of Missouri that we were in, we didn't see a whole lot of colors when the leaves changed. Seemed like most of the trees that were growing around us, the leaves just turned brown, which is fine, but it's not very exciting. But here in Washington, I get to see all sorts of different pretty colors during fall. And that is one of my favorite things about the year living in the Pacific Northwest is seeing the colors change.
And we usually have a decently long fall. Last year we didn't have a fall at all really. It went from summer to winter overnight and the leaves were still green when they were falling off of the branches once it got cold. So that was super depressing. But most years the colors start to shift, the rain starts to come. And something about that, that combination of a gray, rainy day with the reds and oranges and yellows with the leaves changing colors, I don't know. It just creates a whole vibe and an atmosphere and it adds to kind of that idea of relaxation.
Because that's one of the things too, is it's not just that the leaves are pretty when they change colors, which they are, they're absolutely gorgeous. It's also that indication that, okay, summer is on its way out. We're headed towards winter. We're headed more towards those kind of hibernation months where you kind of cozy up inside and take a little bit of a rest from all of the adventures that you went on during the summer. I feel like that is one of the biggest markers of that shift is when the leaves start to change color outside, because as soon as you see that again, you just kind of take a deep breath. And you know that. Okay, I can. I can relax a little bit now.
And I also - one of the things that that is kind of along those lines, it's not exactly about the leaves, but it another thing that kind of marks it's another thing that marks that transition into fall is that shift in the air where it's kind of warm when the sun is shining, but that breeze that comes through is really crisp and you get that little bit of a shiver. I don't know. I find I find something somewhat exhilarating about that. Just that shift in the air, like the energy just feels different, the atmosphere feels different. Everything just feels almost magical, I would say. Even the quality of the light during fall because the days are slowly starting to get shorter in those afternoons.
It's just there's a certain golden light that I only ever really noticed during fall. If it happens at other times of the year, I never notice it. But during the fall, it's just - That late afternoon light, it's just so pretty and kind of warm. And again, it just feels it just feels magical. Or at least it does to me.
AUTUMN
33:58
I think a lot of people would agree that that fall this time of year just does feel magical. And I think that's a big part of the reason so many of us start wanting to celebrate Halloween so early. You know, I've already seen some people with decorations out beginning of September around here. And I think that's part of that whole magical idea because Halloween feels magical and fall feels magical. And we just really enjoy having that feeling of magic and surreality almost around us because it is it is a little bit of an escape.
And I know there are a lot of adults in our society who are very much into Halloween and it can be a very cool thing to be into Halloween if you're all about being the super sexy nurse when you dress up or if you're all into gore and horror and cheap scares. But it's less popular to be all about Halloween when you just like the cute stuff about Halloween, because there are a lot of us that do like the magic of fall and we do like the magic of Halloween, but we don't like the scary stuff and we don't want to be overly sexualized. And so we are in love with like little tissue paper ghosts and dressing up in cat ears and all of these adorable things.
But I feel like that is one of the things that society does put down again, is those childlike, cute Halloween things. And that's one of my absolute favorite things about this time of year are the adorable stuff, because I hate horror. I'm not a horror person. It just - I can't do it. And I still want that magic, that magic of fall, the magic of Halloween to be part of me. And so I do go for the tissue paper, ghosts and the cute little witches and the glittery spiders.
IVY
35:46
I also enjoy a lot of those things. Just all of the vibes that go with Halloween. I love the Halloween colors and the kinds of kind of movies and music that comes along with it, and I do like that cutesy aspect of it. I will say, though, on behalf of the people that do really enjoy scary stuff, yes, you are allowed as an adult to like scary things during Halloween, but only within a certain measure. Because there are definitely a lot of people out there who just love the horror and scary aspects of Halloween. They love doing really gory special effects makeup. They just get super into those parts of Halloween. And they also end up getting shamed and mocked for it because that's weird. Why do you like that stuff that's so gross? Why do you enjoy that? Why would you want to watch that movie? That's so stupid.
There's only a small range that is acceptable for enjoying Halloween as an adult. It is a safer bet if you enjoy the scary aspects of it or if you want to dress up sexy. But even there, there's a limit to how far you can go with it because you could also only dress up so sexy because if you dress up more than that than now you're just a whore who wants attention, which is also bullshit and it sucks.
Dress whatever you want to for Halloween, be a sexy nurse. Do the gory special effects zombie makeup. Wear a cute onesie that makes you look like a unicorn. It doesn't matter. You should be able to enjoy Halloween in whatever way that you want. Whatever appeals to you.
I guess one of the other aspects to that with the dressing up is that Halloween does kind of give us an excuse to go a little bit outside of our comfort zone. I think that's another thing to really enjoy about Halloween because I am not somebody who generally sees myself as sexy or particularly feminine. But I will say a lot of the Halloween costumes that I pick out do tend to be of the sexy variety. And it's not because I'm trying to sexualize myself. But it does feel like a safer arena in some ways for me to explore that more feminine part of myself that I don't feel safe to explore on just an average day.
Because when you're dressing up for Halloween, you're a caricature. You don't have to be you. You can be something else. You can play a part for a while. And while someday I would like to get to a space where I feel more comfortable as a woman, just accentuating my curves and being a little bit more feminine and feeling a little bit more sexy in my own skin, in my clothes. I'm not at that place where I feel comfortable with that right now. But during Halloween, I do feel a little bit more comfortable going outside of my comfort zone because it's not me. I'm somebody else and everybody else around me is also not themselves. They’re somebody else for a day and I think there's some freedom in that.
AUTUMN
38:54
There is definitely a lot of freedom in being able to feel like you're a caricature. Kind of going back to that idea again of no consequences that you brought up earlier, though, Ivy, is that's kind of what adolescence was for a lot of people. Was that chance to try on a different identity every day and not necessarily have consequences. Yeah your mom will laugh because you're emo today and a ballerina tomorrow, but that's it. You don't have really significant consequences that followed it and you got to try on all these different personas and see what fit and what made sense and what you could grow into and feel comfortable in. And again, for a lot of us that didn't have that childhood, that also equated to we didn't have that adolescence, we didn't have that time to explore our identity. And I think that's one of the great things that comes from being able to dress up for Halloween is that idea of being able to explore that, being able to be super sexy or super adorable or just clichéd as one of those blown up T-Rexes they have out there, whatever happens to be, you get to try that for a little while without being committed to it, without being questioned about it, without being profiled as this kind of person. Because you like it. It is freeing to be able to dress up however you want.
And I think also for me, I love the cutesy parts of dressing up like I love the adorable costumes. I want to be the clichéd ballerina or the cute fluffy plushie monster. Again, that to me, it comes back to just getting to be a kid when I didn't get to be a kid or getting to be a kid during those times that were happy before they got taken away.
And one of those things that goes hand in hand with that dressing up and being a kid again, in my mind at least, is trick or treating. And I think it is an absolute crime that we don't get to do this as adults. Like I have at least this this year on Facebook, I've seen a few encouragements and memes and stuff like if a teenager comes to your house trick or treating, like don't belittle him. He's just trying to be a kid again. He's just trying to have a child. And so I love that the teenagers are slowly being accepted as trick or treaters because I'm hoping that will eventually work up to me at some point so I can go trick or treating again.
That was one of my absolute favorite things as a kid, and you don't get to do it as an adult. And I feel to me like this is also one of those things that ties back into incongruence, because I feel like part of that fall celebration and that fall idea and that coming together and Community and Harvest was the idea of surplus and exchanging and making sure your neighbors were taken care of as well as you. And yes, this is a very concentrated form of that idea. But trick or treating is giving away sustenance just freely. And I love that idea of if your harvest was big enough to share that with everyone. And I wish there was a way that we could somehow do adult trick or treat because I missed that.
IVY
41:58
You know what I actually find sad is that over the last several years, I have noticed that there are fewer and fewer neighborhoods and communities where even kids are trick or treating. It seems to be a tradition and this fun little thing for kids that is dying out. I don't know if it's because it's inconvenient. I don't know if it's because parents are just afraid to let their kids trick or treat. Because it used to be that most kids that were trick or treating were just kind of kicked out the door. Go! Go knock on your neighbor's doors, come back by 10:00 or something along those lines. But now the world does feel unsafe. I don't know that it actually is anymore unsafe, but it feels unsafe in a lot of ways. And a lot of people who are parents now would not feel comfortable letting their kids just wander around the neighborhood, knock on doors and get candy from people.
And so I've noticed as the years go by, fewer and fewer children are even getting to trick or treat. And I'm so saddened by that because I feel like it's something so important for everybody to get a chance to do. I mean, didn't get to do it very often as a kid, but I really loved it. And like Autumn, I wish that it was acceptable for adults to do it. But I'm going to be just devastated if we get to a space where even children don't do it anymore because God is like one of the most fun things you get to do the entire year.
And it's not even about the candy. I don't even remember eating most of the candy that I would bring home. And it's not because we were watched like hawks, because that was not the case. I don't think our parents paid attention to anything that we ate, to be perfectly honest. But it was just nice to go out and be dressed up and hang out with other people who were also dressed up and knock on doors and get given free things by people that thought your costume was cute.
And they encouraged you to be silly and to be goofy and to have fun. Because I mean, as children - I think it is changing now and more and more parents are encouraging their children to have a childhood - but I feel like for a really long time, not just in dysfunctional families, but a lot of normal families, there weren't a whole lot of times when children were encouraged to be goofy and silly and get their zoomies out and just really have fun. I feel like there are a lot of generations of people that were raised with that attitude that like children should be seen and not heard and children should be obedient and obey and be quiet and calm and all of that. And so Halloween was one of the few times that as a kid you got to really go hog wild and just be entirely uninhibited.
And a big part of that tradition was trick or treating, getting dressed up and going and getting candy. All of the adults were expecting you were going to be running on a sugar rush. And so there wasn't all of this pressure to be, you know, to sit still and be quiet and be a good kid. You were allowed to actually go out there and have fun and be excited and just be silly and goofy and loud and rambunctious. It's going to be sad if that tradition dies out. Then
AUTUMN
45:19
That would be sad, just that there's one less avenue also just for silly. Because silly is not just important for little kids, it's important for adults too. I mean, there's been studies out there that show that people that are silly, that are open to being playful, that sort of thing, they do deal with stress better. They're able to come up with novel solutions. They don't take themselves as seriously. They're more likely to have higher self-esteem. So having an opportunity to be silly and most importantly, to be accepted when being silly. That's very important to our mental health. And so that would be super sad.
I think, you know, kind of hand in hand with that idea, though, is all those little fun and games that came around the fall time. I don't know if they still do them, but I remember lots of like fall carnivals at school or at church around this time. And those were another avenue where you got to just be silly and have fun. And unfortunately, I feel like most of the games we have for adults around this time of year are very adult and there's a lot of alcohol involved and I don't like that. I liked bobbing for apples. I like cake walks. Why is there not somewhere as an adult I could go to and - yes, okay, I know I can't have sugar, but let's pretend there's this wonderful gluten free sugar free cake and that was at the cake walk - how amazing would that be? Like, why do adults not get cake walks?
IVY
46:43
I completely agree with that. I'm not, as an adult, super into games, but during Halloween, even I'm on board to play games. And all that adults are allowed to do is drinking games and Cards Against Humanity, it feels like. Which don't get me wrong, I enjoy Cards Against Humanity, but not all the time. I want to be able to do other things.
And I always enjoyed those fall carnivals and the Halloween party type things at school and church that Autumn talked about where you've got the kind of sort of haunted house thing where it's sort of scary, but not really because it's geared towards much smaller children and you've got your pinatas and your pin the tail on a donkey and all of those sorts of things, and the cakewalk and then the bobbing for apples.
Oh my God, I have never gotten a chance to bob for apples. And this saddens me so much because I always associated growing up Halloween with bobbing for apples because on TV, the cartoons and on TV shows and movies, every time there was a Halloween party, they were bobbing for apples. Does that happen in the real world? I want to know.
I'm saddened by this. I don't know why I want to do it so much because I don't even like sticking my face in water. But it seems like a tradition that should be done on Halloween and I've never seen it happen in the real world. And it is very, very sad for me that I've never had the opportunity to do it. No Halloween party that I've ever been to has had bobbing for apples.
I even tried when I was younger, like in my early 20s, to throw a couple of Halloween parties. Just so that there could be bobbing for apples as an event and nobody did it. And it made me so sad. It's like I'm not going to be over there waterboarding myself for apples in the corner by myself. That's lame. It's supposed to be like a group thing where everybody's egging you on to get the apple. Never happened.
That that's like a bucket list thing for me. I just want to go to one fucking Halloween party where they're bobbing for apples. Just one. That's. That's all I want. And they should also have pin the tail on the donkey and some, like, pinatas and aort of spooky house things where it's just kind of dark and somebody steps out a little bit too fast dressed as a ghost in a white sheet, like, Yes, I want that.
And they do not have that for adults. And even as a child, they didn't have the full thing. I'm very disappointed by the lack of traditional Halloween games that actually show up at Halloween parties.
AUTUMN
49:11
I am, too, like I am right there with you with the bobbing for apples. I feel like based on my social media feed, there are enough of us millennials out here now that are okay with being obsessed with our childhood and nostalgic look backs. Let's start doing a nostalgic Halloween party. Come on, people, Let's do the childhood costumes. Let's do the cake walks. Let's set this up in our community. There are enough of us millennials out there that loved being a kid. Come on! Let’s bring it back for Halloween. Let's do this. We'll go as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles together. There’ll be bobbing for apples and we will have a cake walk with gluten free, dairy free vegan sugar free cakes, because all of us also have eating issues. I'm not going to lie about that.
And speaking of that, looking back and that nostalgia, I think another thing that gets ridiculed a little bit is Halloween movies. And yes, it's okay to like certain ones, but not others. I guess it seems like they go through phases somehow. You know, one year it's really cool to like Hocus Pocus and then the next year it's like so cliched and it's so ridiculous and it's so trite because everybody loves Hocus Pocus. I'm like, Why does it matter? If I like Hocus Pocus, then I like it. It doesn't matter if you do or it doesn't matter if you don't. Like, I don't really care about the fad.
But I do feel like there's a lot of specific movies out there, especially older ones, that weren't like super scary or cutting edge CGI that if you still like it, you're kind of a dork. But, so what I say embrace the drokhood with that because there is some good cutesy - at least for me cutesy. I don't know if you liked horror or not - but there were some really good Halloween movies that most people would think were, you know, dorky.
IVY
50:38
I also support embracing the dorkhood on this one. I love a wide variety of Halloween movies. What disappoints me is that it seems like other than like a couple of movies like Hocus Pocus up until last year was a classic that everybody seemed on board with until they made the second one. And then everybody was like, That's stupid. Hocus Pocus is not even a good movie to begin with. I don't know what the deal was with that. Why are we acting like children in that sense? But Hocus Pocus was acceptable. Practical magic was acceptable and like the Nightmare Before Christmas was acceptable. And I do like all of those movies.
But for the most part now, the only things to like as far as Halloween movies go is new horror movies. It has to have the best special effects or the CGI stuff like Autumn was talking about. It has to be really gory. It has to be absolutely terrifying. It has to be the scariest thing that you've ever seen in your entire life. And if it's not that and it's not cool. And I find that kind of silly.
I mean, honestly, growing up, I never got to watch horror movies because our mom was very anti-horror movie, which is why both Autumn and I had such a low tolerance for it. I've developed more tolerance for it as an adult. But a lot of the movies that were popular Halloween movies when I was growing up, now, when I bring up those movies to people my age, they’re like ugh they were so bad. Like those movies were terrible. I don't know why we liked this. I don't know why anybody would watch them.
And I've actually watched a shit ton of documentaries that are the making of horror movies. So like The Nightmare on Elm Street or The Exorcist or any of the old slasher movies from like the 80s. And, you know, honestly, a lot of the special effects that they did in those movies, the practical effects that they did are so fucking fascinating. There is so much art and creativity and enthusiasm and hard work that went into those movies.
And while I've watched the new horror movies that are legitimately terrifying and there are very a lot of them are very well done. And I do like those. I don't see anything wrong with still liking a Nightmare on Elm Street. Yeah, it's not as scary. I watched it a few days ago and I wasn't really scared by it, but there was a lot of creativity there. And the practical effects and the stuff that they did and the makeup and all of that, that was actually really, really creative. And it was a lot of hard work. And you had these people putting so much thought into how do we make this look as real as we possibly can?
I don't know. I find it, honestly, I find movies a little disappointing now that we just use CGI for everything. I find that kind of sad that that's just all that there is anymore. Like even animated movies, everything is fucking CGI, like nothing is really drawn anymore. I don't know. I feel like some of the magic in movies got lost. If I have my choice, I'm probably going to watch older movies instead of new movies. Not that there's anything wrong with new movies, it feels like a lot of them are kind of hollow and empty now.
And yeah, Nightmare on Elm Street and The Exorcist and those sorts of movies, yeah, they are kind of cheesy and they don't look the greatest now. They didn't age very well because they don't have CGI. But that doesn't rob them of their creativity or the quality of work that went into it. Like a lot of those old horror movies like the people making them are so enthusiastic about the idea behind the story or so enthusiastic about creating these really cool effects like those movies. And when they were making them, they didn't have a big budget and a lot of those people weren't getting paid what they what they are worth. And sometimes they weren't getting paid at all and they didn't know if they were going to get reimbursed at any point. But they did it because they loved it.
And I feel like people miss out on that. Like they’re not noticing it because it's not as scary, or it's not as exciting, or the CGI effects aren't there. And so well that's stupid and it's boring now. I really love watching those older movies because there is so much heart that went into them.
I would watch those old horror movies from the 90s or the 80s. Or watch those old movies, like the Tim Burton movies, The Nightmare Before Christmas and Corpse Bride. Like I would watch all of those things a million times over before I would watch most of the new movies that come out now. To be perfectly honest, I feel like some of the magic is gone now. And I want some of that magic back. That's why I watched those old movies every fucking year for Halloween.
AUTUMN
55:54
And I will admit, I do not watch any of the horror movies, new or old, so I cannot comment to that. But I will agree about the idea of that magic and wanting that magic. And I do find that in movies. And so I will chime in and just say, you know, if your idea of a really good Halloween movie is Halloweentown or Frankenweenie or ParaNorman, then there's nothing wrong with that. Because it's nice to have for us super, super sensitive people. because I know I'm not the only one that is just ridiculously sensitive out there to have a little bit of fun or horror that's so cleaned up and animated and away from us that we can actually enjoy it a little.
Now, this is kind of a random jump here, but I feel like another one of the things that gets a derogatory kick is the fall and Halloween decorations. And it seems like no matter what you do, like if you're a traditional white girl with the bales of hay and the dried corn, or if you're the person that gets overboard and buys the ten foot blow up for your yard, it almost feels like society is very much no matter how much you decorate for Halloween, it's too much and it's ridiculous. And I never quite got that. Did you get that idea? Like, why? Why is decorating for Halloween or decorating for fall so ,I don't know, cliched or something that society puts it down?
IVY
57:16
I have no idea. I mean, people will put so much energy into decorating for Christmas and they will spend so much more on their energy bill with all those Christmas lights. And that apparently is cool and fine and wonderful. But if you get the Halloween spirit and you want to have giant skeletons in your yard or cobwebs hanging in your windows or you want to decorate your entryway with bats, like that's apparently not okay.
And I kind of feel like the reason why people put down hay bales and pumpkins and stuff like that. Maybe this is me being overly sensitive as somebody who grew up in the country. But now that I live someplace much more urban, anything that is associated with kind of a country life or being from an agricultural community is generally shit on. If you enjoy any of those things, you're just a dumb, redneck hick. You must be a terrible person. You must be a Bible thumping, intolerant bigot.
So anything that's associated with the country lifestyle is stupid. And it's just an indication that you're a dumb person. I don't know how much that exists in other areas, but man, it's pretty shitty around here. Like, I get weird looks for saying y'all, which does not stop me from saying it. I'm probably going to say that until the day that I die. And I get a lot of weird looks for wearing my cowboy boots and shit like that. I don't know if it's this political division that's going on, but anything that is associated with a country kind of lifestyle or like agricultural type of lifestyle and in an urban community, or at least in the urban sort of area that I'm in, is just generally shit upon to enjoy any of those things. So I think that's why at least around here that stuff gets made fun of. I don't know about other areas, but that seems to be a theme here. You're not allowed to like country things. I don't know if it's like that in every city, but it's certainly like that here.
And the Halloween stuff. I think people just shit on that because again, adults are not allowed to have fun. Just got to suck the joy out of everything. Don't you dare like bats. But you got to like Christmas though. You have to love Christmas.
AUTUMN
59:45
But you know what you were saying there about, you know, the kind of the degradation of the rural lifestyle. I feel like in a way that's just another piece of that societal propaganda trying to separate us further from nature and from seasons. And even though the rural lifestyle of major farming and big ranches isn't necessarily within season, it's a lot closer than what you get in the urban world. And I think that may be a big piece of why all of this is put down, you know, around this time of year, that idea of fall and remembering that we're part of the planet and how the season flows and all that, I think we do need that separation to some degree because we are doing so much to destroy the earth we can't remember that we're part of it. And so sometimes I wonder if that's almost intentional in society that they push us away from, you know, rural ideas and they push us away from seasonal and earth-based ideas because they want us to continue on this path. I don't know, maybe that's a little bit conspiracy theorist, you know.
And as to the Halloween decorations,m I think a big piece of that just goes into what's normal. And, you know, if you're kind of interested in death, well, that's not really normal now, is it? And there's so many things like that about Halloween that just aren't normal, which I think is why so many neurodivergent people love Halloween is because it's not normal. And so we get to revel in that. And I think that's probably where some of that comes from then is just that idea of. Well, okay, sure, but just for this little time, because you can't be abnormal after that. And so I think that's why a lot of people tend to start getting skittish because you're moving away from normality and it's okay for a few days around Halloween, but a few weeks, a few months, that's really pushing it. We got to put you back into that normal box. But I don't know. I don't live in the normal box. I don't like it. It doesn't fit and it itches and it's a very stinky place. So I'm happy over here being in my abnormal box.
IVY
61:45
Yeah, it is pretty itchy and it does smell bad most of the time. And you know, when you were saying all that stuff though, it also made me think about another reason why at least I suspect a lot of neurodivergent people love Halloween is that he kind of briefly mentioned death there. It's not really normal to be interested by that sort of thing, but Halloween carries with it more taboo topics than just death.
As a general concept and death is a taboo topic. You say what you will, but it's something that most people do not want to talk about. You don't want to talk about grief. They don't want to talk about dying. They don't want to talk about any of those things. But Halloween also covers a lot of other topics like violence and gore and like these darker sides of humanity. That's obviously not all the Halloween is. There's a lot of just fun and fluffy and cutesy things that are part of Halloween. But Halloween does explore a lot of the darker sides of human nature as well.
And I think that probably is another reason why neurodivergent people are drawn to Halloween because even though not every neurodivergent person obviously is going to be interested in death and gore and horror and the dark side of human nature, but I do think neurodivergent people often are more questioning in general of societal rules and why taboos exist in the first place. And Halloween is in a lot of ways it does represent just this big umbrella of taboos. And I think that's one of the reasons why it is so appealing to neurodivergent people, because so many of us, it's in us to just be curious and to question things that other people don't want to question and to ask the questions that make so many other people uncomfortable.
And to a certain degree, during Halloween, you can get away with a little bit more of that. And during Halloween, it's almost kind of expected that you're going to ask a few more of those uncomfortable taboo questions. You can kind of get away with it a little bit. When during the rest of the year, you can't really talk about death and violence and stuff like that without, I guess, making everybody around you worried. I guess that's that's what it comes down to, people start worrying about your sanity, if you're too fascinated by taboo topics. But if they weren't so taboo, we probably wouldn't be so fucking fascinated by them now, would we? We're Neurodivergent people were just a curious lot, aren't we?
AUTUMN
64:20
That is true. And I mean, if you've listened to this podcast, you know that both you and I think Neurodivergent is a good thing. Diverging from the norm is good. So you know, with this one, again, to embrace it. Whatever it is that you want to decorate as, just embrace that and let's be those harbinger of change and let's rewrite society because, well, it's not all that great. I'll just put it that.
All right. So the last thing I want to talk about on our list today is the clothing that comes with fall time. And again, I feel like it's everything that they want to put down. Because if you want to be super cute and wear the flannel, that's just adorable. Then again, you're being that basic pumpkin spice latte loving white girl or whatever. But then if you're on my end of things where you're putting on the actual functional flannel because you're using it and it feels comfortable and you happen to look like a lumberjack, well then you get put down there because you're not being cute and meeting the societal standards you're supposed to. It's one of those damned if you do, damned if you don't things when it comes to clothing.
IVY
65:23
As much as I hate to say this, I feel like that is something that is not just specific to fall. I feel like that is being a woman at all in our society or identifying as feminine at all. No matter what you wear, you're wearing the wrong thing. It's either too revealing or it's not revealing enough or it's too cute or it's too functional, or there's all of these rules and nobody really knows what the rules are. But no matter what you do, you can never be following them. And it does seem like it rears its ugly head the most during summer and fall is probably when that happens. Because summer is swimwear season too and party season. So there's a lot of rules and regulations that nobody will really explain to you clearly. So you're just kind of taking a stab in the dark. And fall is like that too.
But it's like, do we really have to shit on people for just wanting to be comfortable because to me, fall is comfort season. That's what it is. It's the beginning of getting cozy and it's the beginning of sweater season and scarves and beanie hats and just trying for the love of God to be comfy and cozy. And why that is such an issue. I do not understand why there are so many rules for women, these ambiguous rules that make no sense and nobody can really define clearly. I don't get why that exists. It's stupid.
If you want to wear flannel and Uggs and a beanie cap because that's comfortable for you and you feel cute in it, then go ahead. If you are wearing functional clothing because you have work that you actually have to do outside, that you need to be warm and comfortable for, then all the more power to you. And if you don't want to wear clothes that you can even tell from one season to the next, if you just dress the same way all fucking year long, good for you! Wear whatever the hell you want.
I'm so tired of all of these rules for fashion. Fashion makes no sense. And fashion trends change constantly so that companies can make money off of us. Off of us always needing to have new clothes to be trendy and off of all of our insecurities. That's how the fashion industry operates. That's unfortunately what it is. But that's how it runs. Like there's a lot of creativity in art in the fashion industry too, and I'm not going to shit on that. But most of the trends and ridicule and things like that when it comes to fashion, it's all based on how can companies make money off of us. So wear whatever the fuck you want, be comfortable this fall.
AUTUMN
68:04
You know, sometimes I think about it though, and it almost feels like it's not just about women's clothing. It's about the idea of clothing in general. I don't feel like anybody's clothing is really comfortable. And yes, women's clothing is unarguably more uncomfortable with, you know, stilettos and all of these super tight jeans and all these other things. But even men's clothing, I would say, is not comfortable. And I think that's where part of this ridicule comes in of being comfortable as that is very much, in my mind, a neurodivergent thing. Because so many of us do have sensory issues.
And I think that's even part of some of that diagnostic criteria, is that we're dressing to feel comfy instead of to look good or to be societally approved of. And I think it's very odd to me that it almost seems like society wants clothing to be uncomfortable. And so if we can choose one season to change that and I feel like fall is a great one because a lot of people are already there, dress for comfort, dress for cozy. I say we really push that and we try to work towards a society that has allowed comfortable clothes without that being a diagnostic criteria.
IVY
69:10
And I would add one more note on there too, a lot of neurodivergent people don't just dress for comfort because of their sensory issues. There's a lot of neurodivergent people out there who are incredibly creative when it comes to clothing and it's like an art form for them. And most of the year you get a lot of negative attention for that. But I say make the most out of spooky season that you can. Use Halloween as an excuse for at least one solid month. The entire month of October, I feel like you should just have free reign to dress however you want without getting weird looks. So if you are not concerned about dressing comfy cozy, but what you do want to do is wear Halloween costume every single day for the month of October, I say do it! If you want to be a furry every day for the month of October, do it. If you want to dress like a wizard every day for the month of October or you want to dress like a badass character out of a video game, whatever you want to do. I say October is the perfect opportunity to fully explore your creative expression when it comes to the way that you dress, whether that's looking for comfort or looking to be creative and colorful or stand out, or to show your own handiwork with a costume that you made yourself: Do it! This is the perfect time of year.
AUTUMN
70:28
Heck, I say, if you want to be a furry or a wizard all year, be it all year. But yeah, let's start with October. We'll take that and then slowly, by slowly will march our way through the months until we can be a furry or a wizard or just bloody comfortable all year long.
I feel like, though you get the idea, there's so many things that we can be chided for and mocked about. And why? Why should we lose our joy or lose our comfort, lose our chance at better mental health, or to foster our inner child just because society snickers at us? Let’s empower ourselves. Let's improve our mental health and take care of our inner children and really embrace some of these Halloween and fall ideas that are out there, no matter what the world says.
If you have a wonderful fall or Halloween thing, activity, pursuit that you love, but you feel like it's maybe denigrated and you want to enjoy that with somebody, shoot us a message and tell us about it. Because we are here to encourage you on and to say, Hey, you go girl, or you go boy and live your life. So do you want to give them our connecty bit so they know where to send such wonderful messages?
IVY
71:43
I also encourage - because I love seeing people's Halloween costumes. I also love seeing people's pets. Halloween costumes – So if you're really enjoying the podcast and you want to support us, you could support our mental health by sending us pictures of you in your Halloween costume or your kids in their Halloween costumes or your animals in their Halloween costumes. That would support the podcast by supporting our mental health, by making our day brighter. So please send those to us. That would be awesome.
So yes, you can find us on social media. We are on Facebook as Different Functional. We are on Instagram and TikTok as Different_Functional. You can visit us at our website DifferentFunctional.com. There's a contact form on there if you want to reach out to us that way. We also have an email address you could email us at differentfunctional@gmail.com. And if you'd like to become a patron, you can find us on Patreon as Different Functional and I think that's all the ways to get in touch with us.
AUTUMN
72:48
Oh, please do send us pictures of your Halloween costume. That would make me so happy. I am so glad Ivy suggested that. But for now, go out there and enjoy your fall, enjoy your Halloween season, and just swim in the wonderful silliness, horror, whatever it is you want to and enjoy it. Empower yourselves. And we thank you for listening. And as always, remember, different does not mean defective.
