Episode 55: Hurt People, Hurt People: How to Stop Paying Trauma Forward

We’d like to believe that all trauma and abuse survivors are purely sympathetic characters who would never inflict the kind of pain they’ve been through on another person, but the reality is usually much messier than that. When we hear the phrase “hurt people, hurt people” we often think of it as a way to understand and maybe even develop compassion for bullies, but you don’t have to be a stereotypical bully for this phrase to apply to you. Many of us who have been victims of trauma and abuse end up perpetuating that cycle forward as a result of maladaptive coping mechanisms, a lack of self-awareness, environmental normalization of destructive behaviors, warped attempts at self-protection, or even self-loathing and sabotage. And most of us don’t want to hurt others; in fact, we often hate ourselves when we do cause harm because we know exactly how damaging the long-term impact of that pain can be. But how do we stop weaponizing our wounds and stop paying our own trauma and abuse forward? Join us as we share some of our own experiences on this topic, and discuss how you can make peace with the past, make amends with those you’ve hurt, and change your perspectives and behavior to ensure a better future for yourself and your relationships. To see our resources for this and all our other episodes click here.